In less than a week, I’ll be onboard a 17 hour trans-Atlantic flight bound for Vancouver, Canada. It has been over a year and a half since I last set foot there and I’m not sure how I feel about the whole situation. Up to this point, I’ve been dealing with it by not thinking about it. But as my time clicks closer and closer, the reality of going home is becoming more and more apparent. My friends have been asking what I’m going to do in my last weeks here, and I really just don’t want to think about it all.
But, when I really do think about it, I get a mixture of feelings. I’m excited to be going home. I’ve been away for so long. I’m looking forward to seeing my family and friends. Seeing how Vancouver has changed. Spending some quality time at home. But also, at the same time, I’m utterly terrified of going home. I’m afraid of all the changes in the city, in my friends, in me. I don’t really remember what life was like in Vancouver. Of course, I remember bits and pieces of it, but the nitty gritty, day to day life, I barely remember. Will things be weird to me?
And I’m also sad. As much as the last few months have been very difficult, Budapest is more or less home to me now. I had wonderful friends and wonderful memories. I’m also afraid of the things I’ll miss out on here, while I’m at home, as silly as it sounds. Will Budapest be the same when I come back to it in 3 months?
The next few days will be a series of ups and downs, full of emotions.
Have you felt these feelings before? How did you overcome them?